To All Heroes of Light and Associates

[derplander]

[The letter comes after Meteor is absolutely certain that everyone has arrived and settled in. So even if you're a late arrival for whatever reason, there is a copy of the letter.]

To Everyone,

I hope this letter finds you well. It has come to my attention that our ranks have swelled once more, and rather than leaving it up to chance, I propose a event. A cookout, held at the Observatory gardens on Thursday, March the 10th between Noon till 9. Think of it as a mingle, a get together party in order to foster good spirits and wellness among our people. Of course our hosts are invited to this, Cid and his merry band of friends, as well as our other major suppliers and their moogles and interested folks from the regions.

I offer this token of friendship in the hopes that we will be able to get along.

RSVPing to this letter is not required, but it would also allow us to prepare tables and cooking equipment for everyone involved.

Yours in Eorzea,
The Adventurer
Warrior of Darkness

[The title Warrior of Darkness is added to all letters from Moggle Mog. When he can, Meteor tries to erase it.]

A Great Opportunity for (Nearly) Everyone

[21stcenturyguy]

To everyone-

Ok, so, here's the thing. I guess some of you Heroes aren't too hard on the eyes, and we could stand to make some money for the people that've been pushed around by the Calamity.

Luckily for you, I've got an idea. I'm starting up a charity calendar. A sexy charity calendar. If you're ugly or not a decent enough person to wanna help out some orphaned kids, you need not apply.

Everyone else, here's what we need:
-Investors. You'll get paid back, with interest, when we make back our production cost. The rest of the proceeds go to Santa Village.
-Photographers. Or artists. I don't know if cameras are a thing here, so we may need to draw this shit.
-Sexy Heroes. Like I said, old hags or creepy dudes can stay the fuck home.
-Moogles, to help with printing and distribution.

If you got anything to say to me, I guess write me back. Write me or come find me if you're gonna be a part of this.

-Santa