To: All Heroes of Light (dated post-event)

[scriptrix]

Hi everyone,

There have been a lot of these going around lately, so I guess it's my turn.  I'm not proud of what I did in that dream, or the decisions I made.  Honestly, it scares me that anything the Sage could have said would cause me to do those things.  I can't even claim I'd never behave like that, because it would be a lie.  The dream we just saw is proof enough that I'm capable of it.  I betrayed everything Fairy Tail is supposed to stand for - I abandoned my friends and my guild, took shortcuts to power, and did what was easy instead of what was right.

I don't blame you all if you decide you can't trust me after seeing that.  I hardly trust myself at this point.  I won't ask for your forgiveness or your trust, because I feel like that's something I need to prove I'm worthy of having in the first place.  But I do think that all of this just proves how weak I really am, so I'm thinking of disbanding Fairy Tail.  A guild is no good without a strong and trustworthy leader, and I've just proven that I'm neither of those things.  So, to everyone, but to the members of the guild especially:

I'm sorry I couldn't be the friend I should have been.

With a heavy heart,
Levy McGarden

Comments

[bag_has_snapped]

Levy,

Wait, don't act so rash! Please! I mean, it's what we've seen in a dream, but it's not happened yet. It may not happen at all! And to be truthful, I refuse to let it happen.

We're so desperate to get home, save the day, do everything so drastically that they're showing us that we're going to destroy each other. At least, that's what I think.

Please, don't quit. Not now. If you need help, I'll be there. You know that!

Tsubomi

[scriptrix]

Tsubomi,

I appreciate that, but I don't feel like I deserve it. How can you stand by me after seeing something like that? What if I get a chance like that again, and I really do take it?

-Levy

[bag_has_snapped]

Levy,

Because that wasn't you. That wasn't any of us. Because I know, deep down, we would never throw our morals away for an easy way out, no matter how good or bad we may be. Because I know we can't give up so easily.

We're not that weak and I know that, together, we can make it through without destroying who we are.

And if any of us do, I'll save them. Because I know you'd do the same for me, deep down.

- Tsubomi

[tacticallyminded]

Dear Levy,

A great deal happened in that dream. We should not dismiss it as false or something that doesn't speak to what we could do, if the circumstances were as such. I have similar feelings.

But, I feel, we have to see this as what could happen. It isn't an ending as much as a challenge to do better. We know, now, what the stakes are and what could happen.

Sincerely yours,
Robin

[scriptrix]

Robin,

That's exactly how I feel. If I acted that way in the dream, who's to say I won't just do it again? I don't know if I'm up to that challenge.

-Levy

[tacticallyminded]

Levy,

Because you can resolve not to. You know what you can do now. We must be able to change that; it is not fate, but rather a vision of what could come to pass. Armed with that knowledge, we need to watch ourselves.

We have to trust in the bonds with each other. Fairy Tail strengthens those bonds. In that world, those bonds failed.

The lesson I learned is to be sure they do not.

Sincerely yours,
Robin

[derplander]

Levy,

Thou hast suffered greatly upon the actions of the dream.

Rely on your friends for the time being, lest you fall into shadow as I had.

I cannot say for certain if I will remain in your contract, but know that I have much thinking to do in the coming weeks.

- Meteor
Warrior of Darkness

[scriptrix]

Meteor,

I'm going to need to do a lot of thinking too. Good luck with yours.

-Levy

[umslay]

[There's something strange stirring in Ales. Too many letters about Heroes of Light regretting their actions have been delivered recently, and he wonders if there's something wrong with him. There's no feeling of regret there: his actions were reasonable, it was he would have done in that sort of situation. What was wrong with focusing on what's best for the universe?

But he can't let his housemate know that. It will be difficult to comfort her without saying that she didn't do anything outlandishly wrong.]

Levy:

I'm sorry to hear that you're thinking of disbanding your guild. In that dream, you still felt like the real Levy to me, but knowledge and years of trials can do that to a person.

I wish I had the energy to talk about it, but it's all I can manage to continue with this month's research.

I can't say the same for the rest of your friends, but I still trust you.

-Ales

[scriptrix]

Ales,

I guess that's not too surprising, since we ended up on the same side of things. But that Levy... it didn't feel anything like me. I was almost sick to my stomach when I woke up from that.

Still, though, thanks for the vote of confidence. I've got a lot of thinking to do, and probably a lot of apologizing too. Good luck with your research.

-Levy

[umslay]

Levy:

I won't be home often until the end of this month, possibly longer, but I'm sending Mimi over to keep you company. I'm fine as long as I'm working, but you could use someone else in the house to keep your mind off of things. Just be careful not to scare her, she's a nervous Moogle.

-Ales

[He also gives Mimi direct orders to only come to the lab only once a week and to consider this an extended vacation. For the rest of January, Mimi will be in house A-08 whenever not doing her required mail deliveries for the day. Her abilities include being fluffy and quiet.]

[jadethenecromancer]

Levy,

How you deal with the implications of our vision is your business, but I have to ask. Do you sincerely believe disbanding the guild is for the best, or are you merely trying to make yourself feel better by casting off responsibility?

-Jade

[scriptrix]

Jade,

I don't know anymore. But I definitely don't feel very good about my capabilities as a leader after watching that. I betrayed my friends and then I couldn't even follow through.

-Levy

[jadethenecromancer]

Levy,

The choice is yours. I would, however, wait a little longer if I were you. Emotional upheaval can easily cloud one's judgment. There is no need to rush into a decision so soon.

Give it some more thought.

-Jade

[neverfirstclass]

Levy,

I know I haven't been the best member of the guild I can be, but I don't think you should throw it away just because of some vision of the future. I'm not happy about the things I was doing in what the Sage showed us either, but I'm going to take this as a warning. A warning to do something better with myself and not make the same mistakes he has.

When you were setting up the guild, I saw someone doing their best to make the newly arrived Heroes feel welcome. And you made me feel like I could be of help to your guild too even though I only had one magic using job.

Ever since we shared that dream I've been thinking about my friends in this world and what I would do for them. Friends help keep each other from making mistakes they'll regret. I'll watch out for you if you watch out for me. And I'm sure others will too. And that makes us a guild, doesn't it?

Cloud

[scriptrix]

Cloud,

Thanks for believing in me. I'm still not sure if I can believe in myself, though. I won't make any hasty decisions, but if I can't be the leader the guild needs me to be, I think it would be better for me to either disband it or pass on the position to someone else. Fairy Tail deserves that much. I guess I'll see how everyone else feels about it.

-Levy

[neverfirstclass]

Levy,

Even if you're no longer our leader, I hope you don't leave Fairy Tail. It wouldn't be the same tomorrow. After all, you made this guild to show us what it was like working with your friends back home, right?

Now that I'm thinking about it, back when Angeal was here, he told me something that he said he once told Zack. "Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero you need to have dreams and honor."

I'm not so sure about my dreams right or even what I want to be as a Hero but I still think that the feeling of his words makes sense. I hope they can help you too. I think if you left Fairy Tail behind you'd be protecting your honor, but letting go of your dreams.

Cloud

[hiddentruth]

Dear Levy;

Whatever you saw is nothing ashamed of. Beneath the personalities we show to the world, we all hide a shadow. Doing the right thing isn't hiding this shadow and pretending it does not exist. It's understanding it and using the best of all our facets to make up our self.

— Parasraya Purana

[scriptrix]

Parasraya,

A shadow? I'm not sure if I know what you mean. Like my evil double?

-Levy

[hiddentruth]

Dear Levy;

The shadow is the aspect of your personality which you are unaware of. It embodies what you are yet reject. People with good hearts such as you all tend to reject negative conceptions or thoughts, thus your shadows are dark and negative. Because you ignore and avoid it, the shadow grows ever denser and bigger. And when extreme situations such as the one you experienced arise, it overwhelms the self.

I can only imagine what the Sage revealed to you in this vision was horrible. The shock and confusion, the feeling of helplessness born from this is what allows the shadow to integrate the conscious mind. The ensuing confrontation is something the conscious mind cannot handle, because it rejects this very shadow. And thus, what you always rejected can take over. This is why you did terrible things in the vision.

To avoid this, you must understand your shadow and take control of it, so that if such a situation ever happens again, you will use your shadow - your hidden personality - to your advantage, rather than allowing it to use you.

— Parasraya Purana

[dragonflame]

I see it this way. What happened in the future is only a possibility. Now we know we can do things to prevent that and work towards the correct path.

So really, you have nothing to be sorry for because nothing has happened. You haven't done anything just yet. If it happened in the future though is a different matter.

~ Bloom.

[scriptrix]

But we were on opposite sides of that conflict. You still trust me, even having seen that?

-Levy

[dragonflame]

As I said it's only a possibility. It has yet to happen, so I have faith that it won't now.

So my answer is, yes. I will still trust you.

~ Bloom.

[victorix]

Hi, Levy?

I admit I don't know much about Fairy Tale. I know my cousin is part of it, so I kinda imagine it must be a wonderful place. So -- I wanted to encourage you not to give up on yourself, and on your guild. If you were fooled by the lies of the Sage, and are a leader among them.

There are many bright, wonderful people who did the same. All of them good, so I don't imagine you are any different. I'm sure they are all feeling lost right now and could benefit from your continued leadership, especially as this comes to pass. If you, a leader among them could be mislead, they will see that anyone could. As a leader among them who is strong enough to admit your mistake and continue forwards, maybe they can re group and find solace. This -- of course, is your choice. I'd think though, that they might be seeking your guidance in these times.

--Rikku

[scriptrix]

Rikku,

Thanks for your thoughts. I'm trying to decide what to do, so it's good to hear what people think about all of this. It seems like I might be taking things too hard, or being too harsh on myself. That's what a lot of people seem to think so far, anyway.

But I've never really been a leader before either, so this is all new to me. I mean, I'm not even an S-Class wizard yet. I wanted to start a chapter of Fairy Tail here to help people here, and maybe so people could feel like they had a home away from home in the guild.

A leader has to be strong too, though, and that's what I don't know if I can really do. I've always had a hard time believing in myself like that. I know my friends are strong and capable, but all I'm ever really able to do is support them. I'm not sure if that's enough.

-Levy