Levy McGarden (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scriptrix) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mogmelodies2016-01-26 01:38 pm
scriptrix) wrote in mogmelodies2016-01-26 01:38 pm
To: All Heroes of Light (dated post-event)
Hi everyone,
There have been a lot of these going around lately, so I guess it's my turn. I'm not proud of what I did in that dream, or the decisions I made. Honestly, it scares me that anything the Sage could have said would cause me to do those things. I can't even claim I'd never behave like that, because it would be a lie. The dream we just saw is proof enough that I'm capable of it. I betrayed everything Fairy Tail is supposed to stand for - I abandoned my friends and my guild, took shortcuts to power, and did what was easy instead of what was right.
I don't blame you all if you decide you can't trust me after seeing that. I hardly trust myself at this point. I won't ask for your forgiveness or your trust, because I feel like that's something I need to prove I'm worthy of having in the first place. But I do think that all of this just proves how weak I really am, so I'm thinking of disbanding Fairy Tail. A guild is no good without a strong and trustworthy leader, and I've just proven that I'm neither of those things. So, to everyone, but to the members of the guild especially:
I'm sorry I couldn't be the friend I should have been.
With a heavy heart,
Levy McGarden
There have been a lot of these going around lately, so I guess it's my turn. I'm not proud of what I did in that dream, or the decisions I made. Honestly, it scares me that anything the Sage could have said would cause me to do those things. I can't even claim I'd never behave like that, because it would be a lie. The dream we just saw is proof enough that I'm capable of it. I betrayed everything Fairy Tail is supposed to stand for - I abandoned my friends and my guild, took shortcuts to power, and did what was easy instead of what was right.
I don't blame you all if you decide you can't trust me after seeing that. I hardly trust myself at this point. I won't ask for your forgiveness or your trust, because I feel like that's something I need to prove I'm worthy of having in the first place. But I do think that all of this just proves how weak I really am, so I'm thinking of disbanding Fairy Tail. A guild is no good without a strong and trustworthy leader, and I've just proven that I'm neither of those things. So, to everyone, but to the members of the guild especially:
I'm sorry I couldn't be the friend I should have been.
With a heavy heart,
Levy McGarden
no subject
I admit I don't know much about Fairy Tale. I know my cousin is part of it, so I kinda imagine it must be a wonderful place. So -- I wanted to encourage you not to give up on yourself, and on your guild. If you were fooled by the lies of the Sage, and are a leader among them.
There are many bright, wonderful people who did the same. All of them good, so I don't imagine you are any different. I'm sure they are all feeling lost right now and could benefit from your continued leadership, especially as this comes to pass. If you, a leader among them could be mislead, they will see that anyone could. As a leader among them who is strong enough to admit your mistake and continue forwards, maybe they can re group and find solace. This -- of course, is your choice. I'd think though, that they might be seeking your guidance in these times.
--Rikku
no subject
Thanks for your thoughts. I'm trying to decide what to do, so it's good to hear what people think about all of this. It seems like I might be taking things too hard, or being too harsh on myself. That's what a lot of people seem to think so far, anyway.
But I've never really been a leader before either, so this is all new to me. I mean, I'm not even an S-Class wizard yet. I wanted to start a chapter of Fairy Tail here to help people here, and maybe so people could feel like they had a home away from home in the guild.
A leader has to be strong too, though, and that's what I don't know if I can really do. I've always had a hard time believing in myself like that. I know my friends are strong and capable, but all I'm ever really able to do is support them. I'm not sure if that's enough.
-Levy