mogmelodies | To All Heroes

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To All Heroes

To Everybody:

Whether we've met or not, I'd appreciate a reply from as many people as are willing, especially if you didn't just come from a version of Earth.

So, let's talk holidays. Christmas, I was willing to let pass as a coincidence. Any civilized planet out there with a winter season ends up with some version of a winter solstice. It doesn't matter the time or the planet or the alien race, they've got some kind of tradition that we would recognize. Celebration for being 'almost out of the dark,' as a friend of mine would put it.

But Valentine's Day? Definitely a product of Earth, of a specific time period of Earth, to be sure. At least, in my experience. And that's where you guys come in. Anybody else, not from Earth, have a custom or a legend like this? Something specifically surrounding a holiday, something that's celebrated. Also, is anybody else reading up on Aqures Ixen legends enough to know if we're going all going to be dealing with rabbits and eggs in two months? If so, I'm calling shenanigans now.

-Captain Jack Harkness

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Terra,
Nice to meet you. That's actually very very helpful, I'm looking for as many differences as I am similarities with this world. Can you tell me a little bit about the world you come from, then? Was it called Earth, or something different?

-Jack

Captain,

I don't remember its name. It was only a place that we lived though Earth doesn't sound familiar. It was a world plagued by war with little else to look towards. No where was safe.

I don't remember any more than that.

Terra-

Terra,

Let me apologize, I'm very sorry if my questions brought up anything bad. My former world, it's so different from here, I'm very surprised to hear about them celebrating the same holidays.

Well, if you've never celebrated Valentine's before, it's kind of fun. At least, it's a good excuse to spend a day with friends, or to get a whole bunch of candy.

-Jack

Captain,

It is the truth and while its sad it isn't painful. It is just what I know.

Why is there candy? The legend mentions love which I admit, I wonder about.

-Terra

Terra:

To be fair, most Earth holidays are excuses to eat a lot of candy.

But love? That one's pretty unique to the story of Valentine's Day. Either professing love to someone close, spending the day with someone you love, something like that. This is the first time I've seen the story told with such a sad ending before, though.

-Jack

I don't know what love is.

Okay. I've had to think long and hard on how to respond to this, so: let me invite you over to my house, it's B-03. Because if a very good friend of mine were here, he would want to help you with this. It would be more important than anything else to him. I'm not the best, but I think I can help explain.

-Jack

Captain,

A friend? Should I come now?

-Terra

Terra:

By all means, please. I'll be waiting for you.

Jack
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Jack is, as he said, waiting for Terra, which is odd, because he isn't entirely sure of who it is he's waiting on. Not that the rest of the heroes don't have an open invite to Jack's place. Also odd that he hasn't found anyone of the heroes he hasn't gotten along with yet.

He is not the right person to be dealing with this, but you don't simply ignore it when someone admits that they don't understand what love is. If the Doc were here, well, he'd be the perfect person to help figure this out. They need the Doctor to be here. But he isn't. He was, and now he isn't again. So Jack is their next best thing, a cheap imitation, but better than no imitation.

And maybe he'll come back. And if he does, then he'd be proud of Jack for doing what he's doing. So, Jack waits.

Terra was more than a little nervous. Tempest had read the letter and suggested that she should go alone to meet the man who wrote her. She didn't know him but she wanted Terra to break free from her shell and open up to those who shared her fate.

She only lived four houses down from him so it wasn't too far of a walk. Even so Tempest had placed her light purple cloak on her shoulders shielding her delicate form from the harsh cold and steady winds of winter. She wore her black mage robes which weren't the best against the cold. Her green hair was tied loosely back with several strains framing her gentle features.

Terra lightly knocked on the door her voice soft and gentle as she called out. "Hello? Is this Jacks home?" She didn't know what he looked like but she supposed he would be the person waiting for her like his letter instructed.

Jack opens the door carefully, and gives Terra a warm smile. "Hey. Yeah, I'm Jack. Come on in, its nice to meet you." He'll usher her in quickly from the cold. He still has little to no idea of what he's doing, but he'll try to help, at least.

"My housemates are all out, ah- Chiaki, and Rika, and Valvalis, if you've met them. They're good people." He's trying to reassure Terra, and maybe stalling a little for time. He gestures to where Terra can hang up her cloak, and then moves to the kitchen table to sit.

"Your letter, well, it made me curious. Well, all of them did. You don't remember that much from the world you came from?" Maybe a good place to start, and a good way for Jack to see if there's just some key context that he's not picking up on, from how Terra was writing.

Terra hung up her cloak and then moved to the kitchen table to sit. She was feeling just as awkward as he was and in truth she didn't know what to say. She had met Chiaki who appeared to be nice enough and Valvalus who Terra was still unsure about. She supposed it was good to know who lived her.

Her eyes absently moved around the kitchen before landing on Jack. She tucked a few loose strains of her green hair behind her ear taking a deep breath before speaking. "That's right."

Terra wasn't sure what to tell him. Would he feel any concern for her nightmares? Are they even important?

"I'm slowly remembering things but its been taking time. I woke up with a circlet next to me."

Jack is keeping both his posture and his tone light, but his eyes show a soft concern. "I'm sorry. Sometimes time is all it takes. But, sometimes," Jack shakes his head a little. "It's scary, and I guess I'm sorry to keep asking."

"Was it here that you woke up? Do you remember anything from before you appeared here?" If her memory loss was tied in to what brought them all here, that's even more troubling. He holds up a hand. "I promise, I'll drop it. And I won't tell anybody else. But I wonder if this is happening to anyone else, and it's just nobody feels comfortable talking about it, so they're all keeping it to themselves."

"I remember a few things." Her fingers pressed against her bottom lip for a moment as she thought. It usually gave her a headache if she thought too hard but they have been getting less and less as her memory has returned. "I just.. what if I don't want to remember? What if that's why I forgot?"

Terra looked up at him her worries and fears evident by her stare. The truth was she didn't remember how things felt. She couldn't relate to others and the only emotion that she could connect to was sadness. Was her life really so empty before now? Every vision or memory she has regained has been horrible and they only serve to plague her nightmares.

"I have asked others but I am the only one to have memory loss. Tempest thinks it was the circlet. She said I was griping it tightly when I awoke." And she was crying but then Terra wasn't going to tell him about that.

"If it's not something that anyone else is experiencing, then it's your own issue, and again, I apologize for prodding at it," Jack gently holds out a hand. "Sometimes the past does just need to stay in the past, there's not always a good reason to dig it back up. Whether it was because of a magical effect, something from this circlet, or just your own mind protecting you, it's all right."

"I- understand." And it surprises him that he does completely understand, but maybe he needs to explain. "Long time ago, I just woke up, and the date was two years later than I expected it to be. Two years, gone, no idea what I did or where I went in that time. I've never found any clues."

"If you don't want to remember, you don't have to. There's nothing keeping you from just moving forwards from here." But it explains his other questions, why she can't remember loving someone before, so she doesn't understand love.

"But.. what if I don't remember horrible things that I've done and.." She saw his hand but instead of taking it she covered her face. Her knees moved towards her chest as she held back the pain swelling in her chest. She didn't want to be weak, to show a stranger this side of her but then what else could she do? There wasn't many that she could talk to and it was so hard for her to trust.

Terra couldn't look at him. Her hands were tainted by so much blood and then there was that haunting face that she saw within her dreams. Kefka He had commanded her and sought the destruction of so much.

"I can't even remember my parents or where I'm from.. I'm scared.. what if.." She kept her face buried within her palms. "What if I'm not human and that's why I can't feel love."

Everything she kept bottled inside spilled from her lips before she could catch the words and stop them. Her body tensed feeling suddenly very vulnerable next to this stranger.

Sometimes it's just easier for things to come out around someone you don't know, someone who you don't already have a wall put up in front of. That, and Jack just brings this out in people. His hand stays out, close, but doesn't make contact, and his voice drops, tone soothing. "I can promise you're human. I've seen enough people, aliens, humans and inhumans, that I can absolutely promise you that much. This, right here? This doubt, this worry? That's human. Nothing in the universe more human than this."

"If you weren't human, you wouldn't care. You wouldn't think to worry about what you've done. This? It's a part of love. Maybe not for one specific person, not that romanticized love, but the concern for others? The fear of hurting people? You're feeling that."

"If you don't remember, then you don't remember. You don't need to remember something horrible in order to choose to do good now." And, which one of them is he talking to when Jack says that? He tries to shove that thought aside.

She shook her head slowly choosing each word carefully. "In my world magic is unnatural. Only monsters can wield it.. yet I can." Terra looked up her eyes dry but her expression pained. There was so much that she didn't want to say so many things that she wanted to keep secret. How could she believe him?

"I should go."

She rose from the table turning away. Tempest had been wrong, this wasn't a good idea. She wasn't ready to tell anyone and how could she ask? This holiday meant for love.. no one could love her.

"Wait- please?" Jack stands up after her, and again, he puts out a hand, just hovering over her arm, not quite making contact. "I'm sorry if I've upset you. Sometimes it's just not healthy to bottle this stuff up."

"I understand, I can understand, where some other people might not. And, if you need someone to talk to, I hope you can let somebody be here for you." He retreats a little, he'll let her go if she really wants to, even though letting somebody just walk out of his place upset isn't his favorite choice.

"You're no monster. Even if your race isn't human, fine. You can still be human." Quiet, confident, but he expects that she won't understand where it's coming from.

Terra stopped looking down at this hand hovering inches away from her arm. She wasn't used to such expressions of comfort and she wasn't sure what it would feel like to even be comforted physically. It was curious.

Her eyes looked back up at Jack as she turned to face him, her expression static. "I don't understand." Not just about her being human and not being human but about talking to someone. She hadn't told anyone much since waking up here. Even Tempest was left in the dark and only knew of the nightmares that plagued Terra's dreams.

Jack lets his hand drop, doesn't want to make it look like he's keeping her here, but he doesn't want her to leave at all. The look on his face stays sympathetic. "Then, what are you thinking? Because you're trying to understand, and I want to help. But I don't know where to start." Maybe just take this all one step at a time.

"I don't know." Her voice was almost a whisper as she spoke. "I don't know what I am thinking. I don't know what is real and what isn't. I don't know the difference between my dreams and my memories. I don't know how I feel or if I do at all."

Terra brought her hand up so that it rested over her heart. "I don't even know if I'm truly alive." Her eyes were locked with his and clear as she spoke her worries. It wasn't until she finished that her eyes shifted to the ground.

"I don't know who to trust." Her voice was so soft now he would have to strain to listen. Every dream and memory fluttered through her mind leaving her heart trembling at the memories that assaulted her. She wasn't human.. human's couldn't do what shes done.

"Terra," he speaks her name softly, trying to ground her back to where she is. "You can't remember what's come before, so you're scared that all of this could just disappear at any moment. That's a real fear. This is real. Or, whatever we experience, that's all we can ever know of reality. Sounds complicated, but it means you can trust this."

"Leave the past in the past. Let that be the bad dream you're waking up from. It doesn't have to control who you are now."

"If you've got to take it one day at a time, re-learn everything you knew, that's really all the rest of us are doing. Coming here, everything's messed up for all of us. But don't let that drag you into despair." He puts a hand out again, gently lets it touch hers, without grabbing. "This is real. You don't have to be afraid of here."

She felt tears spill from the corner of her eyes before she could stop them. She wanted to believe him and she felt her heart reach out at his words. She reached up trying to wipe away the tears but they wouldn't stop streaking down her cheeks.

"I don't know why I'm crying. I'm sorry." Her voice was only a whisper, the feeling of heart break echoing in her chest with each beat. She had been hurt and she didn't know if it was really okay to try and feel better. Didn't she deserve to suffer? After everything that she had done.

Terra took a step forward placing her forehead against Jack's shoulder while she tried to stop the tears that flooded from her eyes.

Jack gently raises one arm to go around her shoulders. He kind of expected this, but it's better that she's letting it out, rather than running away. "Because you're scared. Fear is good. Even if it feels terrible. It means you care."

"Two years, I don't remember a thing that I did. I try not to think about it. What kind of man I could have been? What I could have done? It's been enough time, now, that I can leave it alone. But, it's natural, it's human, to wonder, and fear."

As much as Jack is encouraging Terra to just leave it alone, it's a good sign that she isn't just going to brush it off. But where can she go from here?

To All Heroes

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