Addressed to everyone [backdated to 5th May]

[frilliance]

 To whomever might be reading this, 

My name is Miles Edgeworth and I am a district attorney from Los Angeles. I apologize for this strange method of communication but my cellphone is missing and I have lost my cellphone and there seems to be no way to access any other sensible form of communication, unfortunately. To be frank, I would be surprised if this bizarre talking robot bear actually has any effect, 

I arrived in this bizarre place several hours ago and must make my way back to Los Angeles post-haste. Unfortunately, none of the locals seem to be of any use, as they keep telling me the same bizarre nonsense about me being some sort of magical chosen one and appear to think that I am intellectually incompetent enough to believe it. 

There must be someone out here with a tiny amount of common sense. Therefore, if you are somebody who fits that description, could you please tell me the best way to contact the Los Angeles police department so I can get in touch with my detective and make my way home. You have my gratitude. 

Yours sincerely, 

Miles Edgeworth. 

Comments

[hopedout]

[ There are some parts of that message that are concerning, which is why he decides to respond post haste. ]

Dear Edgeworth,

Unfortunately, what they said seems to be true, unless they somehow put me into a long 6+ months dream. Unrelated to that, was this "bizarre talking robot bear" half black and half white?

日向 創
— Hinata Hajime

[frilliance]

Dear Hinata Hajime,

I'm very sorry but I would quite like a real answer and am not in the mood for jokes.

A robot bear-cat thing with black wings. Says 'Kupo!' a lot. Apparently we all have one.

Miles Edgeworth.

[hopedout]

Dear Edgeworth,

I apologize if I didn't come as sincere through writing, but everything that I have written down myself is completely true. I have absolutely no reason to lie, especially not for such an elaborate prank.

And that much is a relief; it's a moogle.

日向 創
— Hinata Hajime

[playing_hearts]

Mr. Edgeworth-

My name is Alice Liddell and I've been in Crystallis for quite some time now. Therefore I must regretfully inform you that, like many of us, you are trapped here until a way can be found to send us home. In addition I will not sugarcoat the situation we're in. This world is on the verge of collapse and many of the locals view us as heroes destined to 'save the day,' as it were.

Believe me when I say that none of us are terribly pleased with the state of things. However, this is the hand we were dealt and many of us are working towards solutions to the various obstacles arrayed against us. I'll try to answer any questions you might have.

That said, the creature with you is called a moogle. And can probably offer you a few answers on it's own. And while the moogles are capable of sending messages very quickly, there is currently no way we know of to contact our homes.

With my sincere sympathies,

Alice Liddell

Sorry this is late. RL got in the way and stole my tag motivation.

[frilliance]

Dear Ms. Liddell,

I don't wish to be rude but I honestly don't have the time for that sort of thing. I would quite like to go home before my colleagues notice that I'm gone and I get declared a Missing Person. I'm afraid that telling me that I'm in Narnia isn't helpful.

Yours faithfully,

Miles Edgeworth.

no worries~

[playing_hearts]

Mr. Edgeworth,

I understand your skepticism and I certainly shared some of it myself when I arrived. However, it wastes far more valuable time to live in denial of ones current situation. Just because it's unusual, confusing, annoying, and difficult does not make it any less real.

I'm still willing to answer any questions you might have, of course. But you need to accept the hand you've been dealt before you can get on with the game.

Sincerely,

Alice Liddell

have some sunshine, Edgeworth!

[boomchucka]

Hi there,

I don't where Los Angeles is nor have I heard of it but you might find yourself having a little trouble getting home. I know that waking up here can be a little difficult but this place isn't all that bad. Well except for the Calamity but it's not near us yet. That being said, that's why we're here and I get that it's a tough pill to swallow but we all have to make the best of a bad situation.

Unfortunately, writing letters and having them carted about by the moogles is the only way of communication here. Also, I don't think they'd enjoy being called a robot because they're very real. Try giving yours a kupo nut sometime. They can be found at the market. Actually... I'll send you one when Jaelyn brings you this letter! :)

There's lots of helpful people in the city who might be able to explain what's going on in the world a lot better than I can but it's our job to try and save this place. It's a bad situation but let's all do our best.

~ Selphie ~

PS: What's a cell phone?

I am sorry Selphie. ;_;

[frilliance]

[Ugh. Is everyone in this place in La La Land?]

Dear Ms. Selphie,

I don’t mean to be rude but last time I checked, wizards and dragons don’t exist. Neither do talking bear cat things. Ergo, there is no possible conclusion other than that this strange ‘moogle’ is a robot and one with an astonishing amount of artificial intelligence, it seems. I would accept that it might be the only form of communication, however, as this place does not seem to be one I have ever heard of anywhere in America. It might even be another country, although that begs the question on how I arrived here.

Yours sincerely,

Miles Edgeworth

P.S. You don’t know what a cellphone is. [Is she…..serious?]

She collects grumps, sarcastic lads and noble souls?

[boomchucka]

Mr. Edgeworth,

Maybe take a chance and believe that what you're seeing is real. There's nothing wrong with believing in the impossible is there? Where I come from, magic, dragons and moogles are very real things. I know it's hard to accept but it might make it easier to adapt to Aqures Ixen than to dispute its legitimacy.

I could even show you some of the magic that I know if that would help to persuade you. It's not bad here once you get used to it.

~ Selphie

[goddessofthesky]

Dear Miles Edgeworth,

My name is Zelda and like you I woke up in this world. I've been here for awhile now and while I know it is shocking there is no way home. At least none that we are currently aware off, there is research as well as notes that we've collected, most of which I keep at the Old Observatory.

You are welcome to stop by and I will catch you up on what we know. I'm afraid it's far to much to transcribe down and mail.

Thank you,

-Zelda

[frilliance]

[Although she's still telling him what he doesn't want to hear, there is one thing about Zelda's message that strikes him.]

Dear Ms. Zelda,

You said that there are research notes? I have to admit that I am quite curious about that. From what I have gathered from the locals, there appear to be two observatories. Perhaps you could point me to which one and I could pay a visit?

You have my thanks,

Miles Edgeworth.

[goddessofthesky]

[She'll keep her book of notes out for him to read when he arrives.]

Dear Miles Edgeworth,

The Old Observatory is labeled as such because it doesn't work as an observatory anymore. I've attached a map which has the location circled.

Thank you,

-Zelda

[shepherd_prince]

[Chrom is so lost. He knows what a bear is. The rest of these things, like cell phones and robots and Los Angeles? Not a clue. Even 'police department' isn't a term he recognizes. But at least he knows when he's talking with a newcomer.]

To Miles Edgeworth,

I am certain others must have written to you by now, proclaiming the reality of our situation. I would not wish to be redundant, nor would I truly know how to convince one such as yourself. All I can add is my own experience in that, as disorienting as it is, the truth of our removal from our home world to this world is true.

Nonetheless, whether you believe it or not, I am willing to offer my assistance. I have been a resident of this place for nearly half a year, and I've grown accustomed to many of its oddities. There is one thing you should be particularly cautious of, and that would be the monsters that dwell beyond the city walls. While they are not particularly numerous, they can be dangerous to those who do not expect to see them. Are you versed in any sort of combat style? If not, I would not recommend traveling alone.

Should you have any questions about this place, I will do my best to ensure you receive an answer. I wish you luck.

Sincerely,
Chrom

[frilliance]

Dear Mr. Chrom,

As I have said to the others, such an idea is impossible. I might concede to the idea that I might be in a foreign country, although it is not one I have heard of and it still would not answer the question as to how I arrived here. [Sorry, Chrom. He'll be stubborn about this for a few weeks at least. Maybe a few months.]

That said, you mentioned monsters. [He may think that everyone is talking rubbish here but.....that really worries him.] I hate to ask this but might I inquire what you mean? [Wild animals, please say wild animals.]

Yours sincerely,

Miles Edgeworth

[shepherd_prince]

[Chrom rubs his hand through his hair after reading the reply to his letter. It seems the latest round of heroes have a knack for stubborn denial of their situation. Not that he blames them; it isn't a pleasant reality to be in, now that they know what they know. The next letter arrives with a new copy of the Crystallis Bestiary, as well as a smaller volume detailing the creatures to be found in Mysidia.]

To Miles Edgeworth,

I have provided a copy of the bestiary. You may find it useful in the days to come, so I suggest reading it, even if you are unable to believe in these creatures for now. Read and give it the benefit of the doubt, since there is far more harm in ignorance than conceding to superstition.

As to why and how we are here, I can provide a copy of a recent report that was distributed to us. However, the contents are far from pleasant, and I am certain they would only serve to cause you further distress. If you wish it, I will ask Kulevi to transcribe a copy for you.

Are you aware of which Jobs were imprinted on your Crystal? Perhaps if you attempted to make use of their abilities, you might find the proof you seek.

Your Ally,
Chrom

[terrorfirma]

      Common sense is pretty relative in a place like this you know, when you say things like "Los Angeles" and "District Attorney" it sounds just as crazy as "Heroes of Light" or "Calamity Swallowing the World" to most of us.

Lucky for you, I'm feeling pretty generous today so I'll let you in on a secret: there is no way home. Unless you feel like messing with the relativity of time and space, which I'm pretty sure hasn't worked out for most of these "Heroes" from what I hear.

          — ℰdna.

These two are going to get along brilliantly.

[frilliance]

Dear Ms. Edna,

I will let you in on a little secret too: magic and superheroes don't exist and they never hand. [Spirit channeling he can't exactly deny as much as he wants to but he's not going to talk about that.] Futhermore if the world really was ending, I'm sure I would have heard of it by now.

Also, are you really telling me that you have never heard of Los Angeles? [He knows that there are ignorant people who have never heard of the UK like the judge but seriously...]

Yours sincerely,

Miles Edgeworth

of course!! edna is the best at friends

[terrorfirma]

      Oh, they don't exist? Well that's a relief. I'll be sure to tell the monsters just outside of the city's limits that so they stop bothering us, in that case. While we're at it feel free to abandon that crystal you woke up with, I'm definitely sure that won't have any repercussions at all since magic doesn't exist either. And as far as this world ending, well, maybe you open your ears first instead of your mouth next time.

I swear, most of you humans really were raised in a barn.

And no, I've never heard of anything called Los Angeles, just like I'm sure there's plenty of things you've never heard about, either. But let me know how all that denial is working out for you, I give it about a day or so.

          — ℰdna.