mogmelodies | Written to Friends

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Written to Friends

November 1st

Dear [Insert Your Name Here],

I hope this letter finds you well. If it does, I would appreciate a response at your earliest convenience, just to put my mind at ease regarding your well-being. Alert me at once should you have need of me.

As for myself, I am well, and rested. I wanted to write this before I resumed my duties to assist the civilians in the city. As I am certain I will be called to report to Esdham soon, now that the undead have been laid to rest, it is imperative that I find a chocobo of my own, so that I may travel freely between cities should the opportunity arise.

I plan to embark on a three-day expedition, from November 7th through the 9th, and you are welcome to accompany me during any number of those days. Be certain to bring warm clothes, fresh water, food that will not easily spoil, and a sleeping bag or tent. Until this time, I will likely be found assisting with the responsibilities of cleaning up and healing injuries.

Know that I will think well of you while I reside in Esdham, and I look forward to your letters. Do not hesitate to write should you ever feel the desire. If you wish to visit, you will be warmly welcomed. I will not be far, if you ever have need of me.

Sincerely,
Rukia Kuchiki

P.S. Now that I am not so busily engaged in the capture and detainment of rogue spirits, I would like to make good on our former agreement. Please notify me if you still wish to receive your date, and inform me when you would like to meet. If you have any preferred activities or meals, please notify me prior to our engagement, so that I can plan an appropriate evening.

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Of course I make it sound easy. I'm speaking objectively with no emotional stakes, so it seems clear enough to me.

[She smiles with a glint of mischief, sipping her tea. She isn't sure she's really qualified to speak as an expert on romance, however. Rukia has no experience from which she can draw, nor is she in danger of falling in love any time soon.]

Did he kiss you back?

[There are other questions she'd like to ask, but it seems like Yuffie's got too much to juggle as it stands, so. One thing at a time.]

He actually kissed me first.

[Yuffie’s life is a mess and it doesn’t really help that the young princess is clueless when others actually like her back. She is more used to one sided affairs.]

I’m more used to kissing others first.

Objectively... [Yuffie hates that word.] I shouldn’t get close to anyone. I’ll return home and my father will arrange a marriage that will keep Wutai strong which it needs considering all of the crap that’s happened lately.

[So objectively doesn’t really work out to well for her.]

Sides there are a few people I sorta might like, which just makes it more complicated. I don’t know how to know.

[Rukia grows very quiet. It's hard not to think about what Angeal told her, and how vehemently she'd rejected his ideas. Love between the living and the dead was forbidden. True, she was mortal here, but any relationship that might spring up could never truly last. They wouldn't be able to stay in this world, and even if they could, Rukia couldn't abandon her responsibilities to her family and friends, to her own world.]

[But that's just her. She looks at Yuffie, studying her young and troubled face silently, before she sets her tea in her lap.]

I confess that I am not able to provide adequate advice on the matter.

[Her gaze rests on the teacup as she speaks softly.]

But I don't wish to see you miserable. If being with him makes you happy, then damn the consequences. Be happy. It may hurt when it comes time to part, but life is uncertain, and endings are as certain as beginnings. If you feel that your happiness is worth more than any sort of future heartbreak, then you must pursue that happiness.

[Rukia sips from her tea, and allows a small smile.]

But that advice is far from objective on my part. Take it as you will.

[Yuffie looks over at Rukia and just raises an eyebrow.]

I bet. You go around teasing and flirting with everyone. [Almost the same way that Yuffie does but she's not going to point fingers at herself.] But your saying you would follow any feelings? Do you like anyone? Are there people you keep thinking about even when you are away? Or people you constantly feel like bothering?

[The last question is usually how Yuffie tells.]

I mean you won all those dates and you weren't even interested? Isn't that just mean? And why can't I do that? Just go on dates but not get close?

Then it won't hurt as much.

[Yuffie is being a brat and she's trying to turn this around on Rukia. She isn't happy and she's bad at taking advice but she wants someone who can empathize more so than say something and not go by it. So she'll wait for Rukia's answer to all of her questions even if they are totally unfair.]

W-what?!

I do not engage in flirting--!

[But the accusations just keep coming, and Rukia's eyes get wider and wider with horror. What on earth is she talking about?!]

I have no interest in romance! I must make that absolutely clear.

[She drops the teacup a little too hard into the saucer, making an angry clink. Yuffie might have flustered her a bit much.]

Of course I wanted to try dating! Ordinarily I would never have such an opportunity. Remember that my time spent in the world of the living never went beyond infancy.

[Her shoulders are stiff as she faces away from Yuffie.]

I only wanted to know the experience. Don't mistake my curiosity for affection.

[Yuffie doesn't seem to bothered, as if she's used to the reaction.]

Really? So then stringing guys a long and making them like you? Is okay because you want the experience?

[The ninja princess sits up now, her eyes locked on the back of Rukia's head.]

That's bullshit.

[Yeah, she said that.]

You will never get the experience unless you feel something. You have to fall in love to understand. Until then you are just jerking people around. You said you had advice? Not objective? Your just full of it and you don't even realize what you are doing which makes it worse.

You want me to be happy? Then be happy yourself.

None of that makes sense!

[She glowers over her shoulder.]

You are mistaken. I have generated no such feelings in anyone, and I have no interest in ever doing so. That path is not for me, nor shall it ever be.

[Rukia faces forward again.]

The dead have no right to lay claim to the living. My time came and went, and that is the end of it. Yes, perhaps I am selfish to still desire friendships that in time must be severed when we are returned to our worlds. But I have no desire to instigate jealousy or broken hearts. That will never give me happiness, or satisfaction.

Then don't date. Don't do date like things.

[Yuffie's expression is rather passive as if she doesn't care what Rukia chooses to do one way or another. This conversation is completely off her now and she's sort of hoping to keep it that way.]

As I said. You won't understand because you aren't being serious.

[She actually believes that part plus it's sort of mean to go on a date with a friend. It's not a real date if there are no date like intentions which means that Rukia's never really been on a date.]

Hmph. I made no illusions as to my intentions when I stood on the stage.

[She'd made sure the 'no romance' thing was announced loud and clear.]

Who are you to give me orders? Figure out your own problems first before attempting to fix something that doesn't need to be fixed. I am content with what I am, and I have no further regrets.

Fine but you still don't understand what it's like.

You don't know what it's really like to date or have your heart beat so fast you think it might explode or worry about them when they are away or miss them when they aren't next to you or to hope that no matter how hard you try they won't pull away from you even when you push them away or what it's like to think of someone first because you know that staying with them is the worst possible thing you can do for them...

[Yuffie's voice begins to choke up and try as she might she can't stop herself from crying. She places her tea on the table and then sniffles softly.]

You don't know what it's like...

[Her words are broken and she has to gasp for air.

This is why she has been trying to focus on Rukia.]

...

[Rukia is quiet as Yuffie starts to cry. Damn... That hadn't been her intention. But maybe this is what Yuffie's been needing to do for quite some time. She sets aside her tea and slides off of the couch arm, taking a seat in front of Yuffie with one leg curled beneath her. She reaches out and brushes away the young girl's tears from her cheek.]

What you say is true. I do not know these things.

[And she was never meant to know them. She doesn't want to know them. She's felt the pain of loss, and she can't imagine what it would be like to love someone that much. But she knows it can happen, and it's happened to Yuffie.]

You do. If you need to spill your heart, I would never wish to stop you.

[She smiles tentatively, her brow creased.]

I would give you answers, if I had them. All I can say is that, if you are absolutely certain that this young man is the one you want, pursue that chance while you are able.

[The problem is that Yuffie doesn’t know. She can’t figure out anything that she’s feeling anymore. She knows what it’s like when he’s near. It’s like a dream, like nothing outside of the two of them exists but then it doesn’t feel real. She doesn’t know how to handle it and she doesn’t know who to talk to. She’s still fighting with Tifa and the silent treatment doesn’t work well when you want to talk to someone. This isn’t the sort of thing she can go to most of her ‘friends’ about and her other girl friend is Chiaki who understands relationships about as well as Rukia does.

She doesn’t know what her heart wants; she only knows that it hurts.]

I don’t know.

[She sniffles looking over at Rukia. Yuffie’s been a jerk and she knows that and yet Rukia is still trying to comfort her. It’s weird but for the moment she’s glad.]

I thought it was because he helped me… after…

[This time Yuffie doesn’t continue, her eyes find a comfortable spot on the floor as she tries to wipe away the tears. However, with each pass of her palm more spill free like an unending water fall.]

[She's just secretly relieved that her (lack of) love life isn't being discussed anymore. Best believe she's going to brood over what Yuffie said later, since she never thought of herself as a maneater before. Is she? But she knows of no one who might hold tender feelings. It's something to consider later.]

[For now, all she can do is take a handkerchief out of her inner pocket and pass it to Yuffie so she can dry her face and wipe her nose. It sounds like there's a story, but she's not sure if she should ask for it. Yuffie already knows some personal things about Rukia and vice versa, so what could be more private than that?]

[She waits, hands in her lap, to see if Yuffie will continue. If not, then she won't push.]

[Yuffie takes the handkerchief wondering absently if she should start carrying one around. Angeal had told her to open up to people, that they might understand but she doesn’t want Rukia to look at her differently or treat her differently. She looks down at Rukia with a huff before falling back against the couch. Her eyes close and she drapes one arm over her face hoping to hide the tremor in her voice.]

A little less they a year ago… I and three others were kidnapped by the Empire; by kalki. [She pauses inhaling a deep breath and then releasing it before she continues.]

While we were in prison they performed tests on us. To see how much our bodies could take before our crystals healed us or what powers can awaken when we are close to death.

[She doesn’t know if she can go into detail. She hasn’t told anyone what the pain has felt like, only Luffy knows and that’s because he was forced to experience as well, all while she watched. Yuffie’s silent for a long moment after, she doesn’t cry but she keeps her eyes covered and closed. Ever since then she hasn’t felt like herself and it took a long time for her to be chipper again. Sometimes it’s easier to smile than feel sad.]

[That's barbaric. Rukia's eyes widen, and there's a stiffening in her jaw. This was something she hadn't heard about. Either she'd missed it in the accounts she'd read, or she'd simply skimmed over it too quickly. And to think that she had once suggested diplomacy with the Herans, during the time loop! She's disgusted.]

[But this isn't about getting angry on the behalf of her friends. She's listening still, and inclines her head faintly.]

And this person...MarKus...helped you to recover afterward?

[It's hard for Yuffie to get mad anymore. At first she was angry, she felt weak and frustrated and there was nothing that she could do to make those feelings go away. Now she just sounds tired, as if every part of her has just given up trying to understand. It's done with and she wants to just move forward.

With her arm still covering her eyes she continues in the same flat tone.]

A lot of people did... we were rescued...eventually [She almost shrugs with that last word.]

I started to hang out with him a lot. I was a little scared to be on my own. [Even now she doesn't sleep until the sun comes up and only then for a few hours. It's hard to close her eyes and not think of that place. Sometimes Vincent will sleep on the floor to her room and she sleeps better but it doesn't always work.]

[Rukia's frown deepens. It sounds like she's still scared to be on her own, but she can't be sure, and she doubts Yuffie would appreciate being accused of something like that. So she keeps it to herself.]

I suppose that can often be the cause of a very deep bond forming between two people.

[Yuffie doesn't like being accused of anything so it's probably wise that Rukia doesn't bring that up. There is a lot that unsettles the young princess though she doesn't like to show others her weakness.]

I guess so... I don't know... I feel weird.

[It hurts.]

I'm not good at liking someone.

[I'm scared.]

Sides, we'll end up going back to our own worlds.

[Then I'll be alone again.]

[Rukia sighs. It's hard not to give advice; it's just how she is. But she has absolutely no reference from which she can draw. She's never been in love, and what's more, knowing that they'll all go back to their own worlds is just further justification for why she shouldn't bother. It's just not what she wants.]

[But it's what Yuffie wants.]

Then I suppose you'll have to decide if he's worth it.

[She calmly folds her hands in her lap.]

If the joy of being together is worth the pain of inevitable separation, then why should you not pursue what you desire?

But if not, then there is nothing left to debate. That is the heart of the matter.

[She bows her head and closes her eyes.]

Nonetheless...to avoid a beginning, just because it will someday end, is foolish. It is simply the nature of life. What is born must die. We were not put here to dread the endings, but to enjoy the time we have with the people we care about while we have the chance, and be grateful that we had the chance at all.

[Yuffie sniffles looking over at Rukia with a look of despair. With someone who really wants to give advice Rukia's doing a good job of not doing that. Yuffie wants an answer which isn't coming as easily as what she wants.

She falls against the couch letting her legs curl up beneath her until she's in a small ball. Her hair fans around her and her fingers began to pull the long strains from her face.]

I don't know.

[She really has no idea what to do.]

I feel like both would be good... I'd rather make the other person happier in the long run.

[It's not as if he'd come looking for her or jump between worlds.]

Besides in the future he has a daughter and I don't think it's with me...

Have you spoken to him of your feelings?

[Because that's probably a much better idea than talking to Rukia. She's good at listening, but this really isn't her realm of specialty. Surely Yuffie must have known this. It kind of troubles her that she can't be of more assistance.]

Not… completely.

[She hasn’t told him all of it.]

When our folders were released he let me read his. I noticed he had a daughter and asked him why us having a relationship was a good idea if he had a family at home. It hurt… I thought…

[She lets out a heavy breath.]

I actually thought we could be happy together…

[Yuffie rolls over to face the back of the couch. If Rukia doesn’t move her she’s sleeping there tonight. She doesn’t want to move or to think. She closes her eyes and lets the world drift away so she doesn’t have to feel anything at all.]

I was wrong.

Wait. He what?!

[Talk about a complete mood reversal. Rukia went from awkward and silently sympathetic to completely aghast. Maybe if the daughter hadn't been conceived yet, it might be fine, but this...! She spins around to face Yuffie, kneeling on the couch cushion.]

Do you mean to say he was already in a committed relationship before coming here? What is the status of the mother?

[Because if he kissed Yuffie, then he's a vile cheater, and unworthy of Yuffie's affections. Worse, he's making her cry and fret, the vile fiend!]

[Yuffie waves her hand.]

I have no idea if he's dating anyone when he left. His daughter is in the future but I knew he had a girl friend.

[She has no idea what the status of said girl friend is though.]

When we were at the beach he said he'd come to my world. [she laughs but it's pained as if ironic.] My dad would hate him.

[He very much has a mentally similar to ShinRa when it comes to technology, as much as she wants a giant robot.]

....You could do so much better.

[She knows that's rude to say, and she sighs heavily, but really... He shouldn't be making her cry over this. If he has a girlfriend back home, he should be true to her. If he isn't, then there's a good chance he might not be true to Yuffie either. She puts a hand on Yuffie's head, patting her consolingly. Now she understands the mixed feelings a little better.]

Surely there must be someone else in this world that you favor? One who would be less likely to break your heart.

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I made myself cry...

/patpats there there

<3

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