mogmelodies | Written to Friends

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Written to Friends

November 1st

Dear [Insert Your Name Here],

I hope this letter finds you well. If it does, I would appreciate a response at your earliest convenience, just to put my mind at ease regarding your well-being. Alert me at once should you have need of me.

As for myself, I am well, and rested. I wanted to write this before I resumed my duties to assist the civilians in the city. As I am certain I will be called to report to Esdham soon, now that the undead have been laid to rest, it is imperative that I find a chocobo of my own, so that I may travel freely between cities should the opportunity arise.

I plan to embark on a three-day expedition, from November 7th through the 9th, and you are welcome to accompany me during any number of those days. Be certain to bring warm clothes, fresh water, food that will not easily spoil, and a sleeping bag or tent. Until this time, I will likely be found assisting with the responsibilities of cleaning up and healing injuries.

Know that I will think well of you while I reside in Esdham, and I look forward to your letters. Do not hesitate to write should you ever feel the desire. If you wish to visit, you will be warmly welcomed. I will not be far, if you ever have need of me.

Sincerely,
Rukia Kuchiki

P.S. Now that I am not so busily engaged in the capture and detainment of rogue spirits, I would like to make good on our former agreement. Please notify me if you still wish to receive your date, and inform me when you would like to meet. If you have any preferred activities or meals, please notify me prior to our engagement, so that I can plan an appropriate evening.

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[He starts to object to that first remark, only to stop when she (accurately) calls him out with that question.

After a moment, Ven nods in response to her seeking permission.]

Yeah, thanks.

[Backtracking just slightly, though--]

The hospital's in bad shape, and there've been others who needed the healing more. I was gonna go eventually.

[...or just heal himself once his two-week time limit's up, more likely, if no one else ushered him to a white mage before then.]

[He'll have to settle for Red Mage. Her healing spells aren't the most powerful, but he's the only one she's had to use her magic on for the day, so she has plenty to spare. Have some healing magic, young friend.]

I heard about what happened there. It's hard to think about.

[She didn't know anyone in stasis there, nor was she on site to see the horrors that took place in the hospital. But she suspects Ventus must have been there, or he wouldn't be looking so beat up inside and out.]

If you're not ready to discuss it, you don't have to. We can talk about something else. But I'm willing to listen.

[He doesn't say anything else for a pause, letting the healing magic work in silence with his eyes downcast. Rae settles on the back of the couch, paws folded as she watches the exchange with concern.]

...I don't think there's really anything to talk about. You probably heard what happened -- and it's not like I did anything to help.

[It's bitter and a little melodramatic, but not that far off the mark all the same. Ven unties the gauze to check his arm's injury, finding that it's been reduced to a small scratch in comparison to what it was. He takes the bandage off entirely with a quiet sigh.]

I just... thought I'd come a long way since arriving here. Now I know I haven't.

I don't think I believe that.

[His face doesn't look quite finished, so she casts another Cura spell.]

I've squared off against you before. You're strong. From what I understand, so were the manipulated heroes. If you were able to keep their attention on you instead of allowing them to go after someone else, then you played a significant role.

[Rukia stands to approach him, holding his chin and tilting his head a little so she can better inspect his injury. It looks better, so she smiles, and rests her hand against it.]

Don't be so severe with yourself. We may not have known each other long, but I am proud of your abilities, and the strength of your heart.

[Ven's not the kind of teenage boy who's defensive about ~his space~, so he doesn't object. But he doesn't return her smile, either.]

Even if I'm strong, it doesn't matter if I can't bring myself to fight in the first place.

[He sighs again, but sharply, through his nose. His shoulders sag a little more, if possible, even though all that bruising in his chest and back have been healed as well and it's not necessary to watch his posture.]

There was someone I knew... and I couldn't fight him. I just -- couldn't stand the thought of hurting him -- even though he needed to be stopped. [He sincerely hopes Sora will have no memory of what transpired; not only because the guilt would surely hurt him, but also because his first impression of Ven in thirteen years would be that the latter utterly fails as a Keyblade wielder and a friend -- which, at the moment, seems about right, anyway.]

If it wasn't for Ira... [He shakes his head slowly.] He was the one who stood up -- he did what he had to. Yunie and Saori, too, and I... it was the same with some others I fought, too. I'm supposed... to protect people, but...

If I let them get hurt -- or killed -- just because my conscience can't handle it... [He winces.] That's not... strong at all.

[Rukia's quiet, a tight zing of pain in her gut. She's been through a very similar situation. Three times, and with the same person every time. So she can understand where he's coming from, a little.]

I know there is little I can say to convince you otherwise. All I can give is my opinion.

[She sits down next to him and leaves his face alone.]

It's not a matter of weakness or strength. It's just part of having a heart, and caring for other people. It manifests in different ways, and none of those ways are wrong. They're simply different.

[Her hands rest on her knees as she looks down at the coffee table.]

I think it might be best that you weren't able to fight him. If you had...if you'd managed to strike him down...it would have left a deep scar on your heart and a terrible guilt that never truly fades. That isn't the kind of experience I would wish on anyone, especially for one as kind as you.

[As steeped in guilt as Ven is right now, he still gives Rukia a sidelong look, wondering if that is indeed personal experience speaking.

Having a heart... He has to wonder, then, if his heart really had something to do with it. Not just in the way Rukia's describing, but... Pure light and all. Did that stop him? Is it possible that too much light is a bad thing, in some situations?

Well. That aside, there's another thing that's been bothering him about all this. His voice lowers a little.]

Maybe so... but... Something like that -- happened to me once. At least, that's what my computer file said before -- that's what I couldn't remember. I was being controlled by someone -- and he tried to hurt some friends of mine. But they fought him -- and me -- and they saved me by doing it.

Now I wonder... if I'd been in their place... could I have done the same? Even if it was to save someone in the end, I can't... say for sure now.

"Possibly." She leaned forward to pick up the thermos, twisting off the cap and using it as a cup to pour Ventus some cocoa before passing it to him. "It's helpful to plan your actions in advance if you think such a thing may come to pass. But it won't help you if you beat yourself up over a situation where you can't know the outcome or how you might behave."

Rukia sat back and sipped from the thermos thoughtfully. "Likely you could manage to subdue someone without killing them. If you know how to spar, then you know how to hold back the full strength of a blow. You could practice the art of grappling if you think you might be called upon to restrain a controlled ally."

Had she been in the observatory, she would have ordered everyone to tackle and dogpile Cloud. (Thankfully she hadn't been present.)

[Ven takes the drink, still silent and still thinking. After a moment, he gives a soft, sad laugh.]

You know... I said pretty much the same thing to a friend not too long ago. She was worried about fighting... and I told her there's no real use in worrying about what hasn't happened yet. We can only do so much to prepare for things ahead of time.

[Which makes him a bit of a hypocrite, doesn't it?

He gives a low hum, either thoughtful or frustrated -- might be hard to tell. Still, he sips the cocoa for a few beats.]

Guess I should take my own advice. But you're right... if I'm not strong enough as I am, all I can do is work to get better. Whatever it takes. Although... [His eyes narrow slightly and he shakes his head. He figures he could learn every skill Crystallis has to offer and it still wouldn't matter in some cases -- not against a fullfledged, full-powered Keyblade wielder. Still, that's just an excuse to wallow in self-pity and guilt some more.] ...nah, forget it.

'Although?'

[She isn't sure what he meant to say, or where the conversation might have been heading. But she can see the expressions on his face indicating he's changed his mind. She's reluctant to drop it, since she has a terrible curiosity, but she'll do it for his sake.]

If you're certain.

[She sips a little more cocoa as well, her countenance thoughtful.]

It is true that there is always room for improvement, for all of us. My own leadership qualities are severely lacking. I still feel deep regret for what happened with the Reaper.

[She looks down at the thermos for a moment.]

As you said, it is difficult not to dwell on the mistakes of the past. But if we learn from them, and strive to improve, then that is what we must do.

[There's really not much he can say about the Reaper encounter. He doesn't blame her -- or anyone -- for any of it, but he still doesn't like to think about it, even now. Not just because of what he himself went through, but that awful atmosphere alone -- comrades struck down instantly and effortlessly like that -- even here, in the light and safety of his home, it makes him uneasy and goosebumps quickly break out over his skin.

He pulls his knees up, nearly to his chest.]

Right... It just... when stuff like this happens, it seems like... picking up the pieces doesn't get any easier.

[Months ago, after learning about Eraqus' death and having the shadow of doubt and uncertainty cast over Terra -- Ven shut down completely. He recovered with help, only to fall into depression again after reading some of the truths in his file. Again, his friends were there for him, and now... well, Rukia's here, and he knows others will be, too, if he needs them. He just wishes he wouldn't get to that point in the first place.]

But thanks. [Again, Ven smiles a sad smile, staring down at his drink.] I think... my master would've said something like that, too.

[If the warmth in his voice is any indication, that's a compliment.]

Your master, hm? Perhaps I'm growing wiser in my years~

[She glances at him with a smile. She's kidding. He's making the effort to smile, so she wants to help that along. It's hard to see him looking this sad, and hating his flaws so much when there's so much more about him that she adores. He's kind, and cares so much about other people. He's been a good friend to her from the very beginning. Maybe he just needs to be reminded of that.]

I hope you don't plan on easily forgetting all of the good things you did. Like helping that troubled soldier find his peace. And standing beside your friends when they needed you.

[She sets the thermos on the table.]

I am still impressed by the courage you showed in every battle we have fought together. I know I can trust and rely upon you. Nothing will shake my faith in that regard.

[Rukia plants a hand on top of his head as she grins at him.]

Remember that, or I will be forced to remind you.

[It's both comforting and reassuring to hear -- that others trust and believe in him as much as he does in them, even when he lacks that same trust and belief in himself.

His smile quirks slightly, not quite a smirk.]

Is that a threat?

[...Ven doesn't show his sass all that often, especially around adults -- but in this case, it's a sign that he's feeling better.]

Perhaps...

[She raises her chin as she rubs it with an evil smile. Angst leads to sass. Sass leads to shenanigans. Shenanigans...lead to suffering.]

Are you testing me? I cannot be blamed for the consequence of your actions if you do.

[He gives a short laugh, but tries (and fails) to keep a straight face.]

Heh, if I was, you make it pretty easy for someone so wise.

[VENTUS SHUT THAT MOUTH]

[Rukia moves fast, leaping fully up onto the couch with her knees bent as she attempts to snag Ventus into a headlock. With her other hand, she takes out a marker, and pulls off the cap with her teeth.]

[It's moustache time.]

It's too late for forgiveness... Baron Ventus.

[As utterly relaxed as he's been up to now, the sudden movement catches him off guard entirely. Ven barely has time to look surprised before he's successfully headlocked, and confusion turns into ~~horrified~~ realization when he hears the pop of a marker cap (in the meantime, poor Rae has tumbled off the back of the couch with a startled KUPO because what even is happening here).]

Hey--! [He tries to make himself as small as possible by squishing down, hoping to slip out from under her arm -- but one hand of his is occupied with not spilling hot cocoa all over them both, and he's been on the receiving end of enough headlocks to know he's at a two-fold disadvantage.

Still, he's laughing as he tries (most likely in vain) to dissuade her.]

Rukia -- no -- don't even--!

[--think about it WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND MOUSTACHES YOU CRAZY SHORT WOMAN]

[Doesn't he know? Moustaches are prime comedy, especially on teens who aren't even old enough to shave.]

[Her grin grows wider as the tip of the marker comes ever closer. But then...]

[The marker moves past his cheek, along with the rest of her arm, and she's just hugging him.]

Stop trying to muddle through these things alone. You have friends who love you, and care for you, as much as you love and care for them.

[Rukia smiles gently.]

If you forget this again, you truly shall become a Baron. I promise you that.

[Ven instantly stops his (halfhearted, really) struggling at that, looking startled for a moment -- and then he relaxes.

She's right, of course. He's gotten better about not derailing every conversation that touches on his full identity, but letting others touch the uglier parts of his present life is another matter, one he should -- as Rukia put it -- strive to improve. This kind of reassurance makes it easier, one step at a time.

His expression softens as he leans against her, finally nodding once with a quiet laugh.]

Yes, ma'am.

Good. I'm glad to see that you learn swiftly.

[She smiles, resting a hand on the back of his head. After a few moments, she releases him and sits back on her heels.]

When you've finished with your cocoa, fetch your sword. We could both stand to be a little stronger.

[And what better way to bond and vent feelings than to spar?]

[An offer to spar is definitely one of the quickest ways to his heart. He grins with a nod, but as eager as he is to make himself useful, he'll enjoy the warmth of the house with her a little longer while he finishes his drink.]

Yeah! That sounds great.

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