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"Calamity Self." "Shadow." These words have been going around a lot lately, haven't they? I'd be interested in talking to heroes that have already chosen to face these so-called versions of themselves, and what exactly it entailed.

Did you truly consider this other you your "shadow" self? And what exactly did that mean to you before you faced it? Did your feelings change after meeting with them?

I ask because, well... I wonder how easy it was for some of you to determine which is the shadow, and which is the light.

-- ℳidna.

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Midna:

I don't think there's version of us that's the light. If there were, we'd have a much easier time preparing ourselves for the final confrontation.

As one who has met my Calamity Self, I don't know what I'm going to do after this. Mine and the ones I've seen took the time to talk about whatever we never felt like sharing. Or something that we want to ignore, whatever fits. It was difficult for me to realize that my Shadow was sort of a part of me.

And to tell the truth, I expected it to be different. Something about my dark side, the things I've done in the past. I doubt any of us expect what our Shadows will be like.

-Ales

Talking? That was it? Like you, I suppose I also expected something different, Ales. I didn't imagine anything called a Calamity Self would be satisfied with a chit-chat about how things have been going in this world and outside of it, but that seems to be what's happening here.

I admit part of me is curious however... why is it you say you don't know what you'll do after this. Isn't the point of confronting your own "shadow" to be able to gain the power to fight against the Calamity's suffocation?

-- ℳidna.

Midna:

It was very convincing.

Like talking about things I really didn't want anyone else to hear.

You're right in that I have a better feeling what I should do to prepare myself for the final confrontation, but that doesn't mean I know how to do it. Acceptance is not the same as action.

In my case, I have to trust other people, and apparently I didn't have the right kind of faith in myself. How the hell am supposed to fix that right away?

-Ales

Convincing... hmm. I'll take your advice, Ales. And allow me to say, if it's the case that you have things about yourself you want to change, I'm sure that once you put your mind to it you will come up with a solution that suits you best. Trusting in others is no easy task, nor one that should be taken lightly however...

You have always struck me as more of one of the more intelligent "heroes" brought to this world. Take that any way you like, since the competition isn't very promising, hee, but I'm sure that of anyone, you will be able to conjure the results you seek.

-- ℳidna.

Edited 2017-01-04 17:53 (UTC)

Midna:

It's difficult being proud of my intelligence when comparing myself to anything is laughable. But the Heroes here are generally smarter than those in my world, I'll say. I was a bit surprised the ones in the room didn't all attempt to skewer me halfway through. Granted, it must be difficult for Sephiroth to target something so small with that gigantic sword of his.

I think December will be a time for me to relax and think about what to do. Come the new year, I'll get back to work like usual. Only better.

-Ales

[After reading the letter (seriously, Koporo is way too excited to hand him any mail at all even if it is from his roommate), Dylas will seat himself in the living room while waiting for Midna to come and join him. He's a patient wendigo, she can take her time if she's out on the town.]

I think it's stupid. [Shadows. A beat, a flick of his ears.] Er, or it might be. What do you think?

( on her feet, as she entered the room, her yellow eye flicked over towards dylas, her expression blank at first— then it closed as she crossed her arms over her chest. )

Of course it's stupid. ( nearly everything in this world has been. ) But in Crystallis, it's become increasingly clear that what's stupid is also sometimes necessary. ( actually, she sounds pretty annoyed about it. )

Edited 2016-12-24 04:29 (UTC)

[He nods, agreeing with her...for the most part. There's always a split second before he speaks where he's never sure what Midna is going to say or do.]

Yeah, that's what I thought. [Wait a second. His ears flick up.] Wait, that makes it sound like you want to go through with it!

( she frowns at the idea, but if the rumours are true, then... ) It may be detrimental not to go. Don't get me wrong, I don't like playing by the rules of this world anymore than the next reluctant hero but it's a problem when it may involve a connection to our own worlds.

( her head tilts just slightly as she looks up towards him. ) It may not be something that can be avoided forever.

( that's her way of encouraging you, dylas. honest. )

I think...maybe the world I'm from would be better off destroyed. But it's not my choice to make.

[It's a miserable place. He doesn't normally wish death on anyone, but it's a cruel prison. He taps his fingers on the armrest of the couch.]

Do you want me to come with you? It's not supposed to be done alone, right?

( a comment like that garners a look, and a pause, from the imp. perhaps it's true that some worlds may be better off a pile of rubble but... some might thing that about the twilight realm too. )

Hmm, hm! Are you offering to help me? What a gentleman! I'm sure that you could be of some help, after all, you did help me to retrieve the mirror. ( she taps at her chin with small pointed fingers for a moment, then nods. )

Yes, I'm sure that will work just fine, then.

[He sighs. This is so typical of Midna in a way that it's more of a relief than a burden. He's getting used to her.]

Let's pretend like I had a choice in the matter to begin with, but yeah. I won't let you face something like that alone. Whatever it's like.

( there's a silence that meets him at that. not having anything to say was uncharacteristic of midna to begin with, but when she looked at him after hearing that, something... softened in her eye.

this is the part where she turns her back, hiding any trace of what she'd just exposed. facing her deepest desires brought with it many revelations... that perhaps she wasn't yet ready to face. why did he even care if she faced it alone or not to begin with? somewhere along the line, without even realizing it— their relationship had become more like a partnership. more like...

no. forget it. )

And I know I can trust... that you'll be ready for when the time comes.

( off she goes, out of the room, retreating. there was a lot to think about before then. )

[Rukia wasn't sure about answering this. But she does know Midna, thanks to Raven, so it doesn't feel quite so strange to talk about it a little.]

Midna,

I hope you are doing well. What I faced was not easy to define...it was a representation of all I wished to do and say, that I could not, as I had chosen to be true to my duties and responsibilities. She was an expression of the things I had repressed.

But I'm not certain what you mean about a 'light' side.

~Rukia Kuchiki

Light and darkness, they can't exist without one another can they? If you say that this other you represented the things you wanted and yet held back due to your responsibilities, well, then... wouldn't it be apt to say that your darkest desires manifested in shadow?

Perhaps you are the self that walks in the light, then.

-- ℳidna.

Midna,

Perhaps this is so. I'm not certain my desires would be considered dark...my Calamity self behaved rather foolishly, if I must be honest. But if the 'light' side is that which is more easily seen by others, I suppose this is the case.

Have you gone up against your other self yet? If you require backup, I will be there for you. Simply let me know what day and time.

~Rukia

"Dark" and "darkness" of course can be subjective as well. After all, is perpetual twilight really all that bad? Perhaps some people find it quite liveable! What I'm more interested in perhaps... is if those dwellers of the darkness really and truly have a shadow self, or could it be something different.

Well, I suppose to answer my own question, there's no better way to find out than by experiencing myself, isn't that right? Should I require skilled fighters by my side, I'll be sure to keep you in mind... eee hee hee...

-- ℳidna.

Dear Midna,

Cid had given a few of us a quest to research those terms, as the Sage in Mysidia used them. While "Calamity Self" was a new one, a few of us were familiar with the idea of the "shadow self". At least, as it related to a psychologist's theories from Earth. Roughly, the 'shadow' was the side of ourselves that we don't show others. Things we repress, we fear, we feel guilty over--that we don't want others to know about us. It's usually countered by a 'persona' which is the face we show to everyone else. There was more, but that's the relevant part based on the psychologist's writing.

How it relates to the Calamity Self, is that it seems to be related to our Crystals, and how we're tied to this world. If I'm understanding it right. We're able to use 2 jobs, because part of the process bringing us to Crystallis, has us with 'two' selves. One being our normal selves, and this is the part that becomes a native to Crystallis when we die and the cycle starts over. The other, being the hint of calamity within us. The 'Calamity self' is that other self, representing the 'shadow' side to our being.

That's about as much sense as I was able to make of it. It...wasn't easy though, facing things you don't want anyone to see. You yourself don't necessarily try to think about it or think about it, and then having others see it too? Yikes!

It would be just as easy for us to call it the "Repressed" self and "Obvious" self, in some ways, except humanity likes its symbolism and the shadows traditionally hide stuff, while we 'come into the light' when we face stuff.

Personally, I see 'why' people use that phrasing, and other things related to dark or light. I'm a bit different though, just because I don't mind the dark. Back home, my best friend is a ghost--for example. I go visit him in the Neitherworld all the time, even though I'm a living girl.

Sincerely,
Lydia Deetz

Well! That was quite a lot of information. It seems as though someone has been paying very close attention to all of this. I suppose I should thank you? More importantly however, this is the first time I have heard of this theory involving the two selves harboured within the crystal. If you are to learn anything more about this, I would be very interested to hear it.

I wonder. Could someone in the shadows truly ever be considered the "obvious" one? The "light" persona? I'm not so sure everyone would be willing to accept something like that, even if you seem to be some kind of exception.

-- ℳidna.

Dear Ms. Midna,

Part of the research involved taking notes; honestly it was really fascinating, so I didn't mind that much. Better than some of the research papers I've had to do back home

I've also been around a while and helped Zelda with some of her notes before. I think that was where I first heard about the reason we can two jobs? A lot of information has come out quickly and it's hard to keep track of all of it.

I really don't know that what you ask is accurate. People call it the 'shadow' only because it's what we hide and repress, as one would hide stuff in shadows. Dark vs. Light and all that symbolism humanity loves and what not. Really, even if you're a 'dark' person, you still have the repressed side--and that would still be the 'shadow' for someone using those terms. Your "light" persona would be your 'dark' side.

Using myself as an example I'm...ridiculously pale, and love Halloween, and ghosts, and all things dark and spooky and weird. I love the shadows, and the night--and I am amused and thrilled that I have the Vampire Job. Even so, I have a 'shadow' and a 'persona'--though I'd be considered "dark".

Sincerely,
Lydia Deetz

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action because it'd be so weird if he responded with a letter???

totally fine!! also im so sorry for extreme lateness sob

I can find it somewhere in Dylas' cold, unbeating heart to forgive you

it better not be the spot next to the fish...

that's impossible, love for fishing is like 98% of his heart

ugh UGH it stinks in this cold dead heart like cold dead fish

yeah man i bet he smells really bad when it rains, too. do stags smell bad when it rains? ew.

gross GROSS (also cute point to wrap this up on y/n?)

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